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Big Girls don't cry (Erica/Callie, 1/1)

Title: Big Girls don’t cry
Author: Nelfy
Characters: Erica Hahn (POV), Callie Torres
Summary: A one-shot about Erica’s past
Timeline: 4x14 ‘The Becoming’
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: These characters are property of Shonda Rhimes/ABC and Grey's Anatomy. They do not belong to me. Reimbursement is not received for fictitious works.

Author’s note: I’m trying something different, constructive criticism would be highly appreciated. Enjoy! Thanks to[info]superfy_me  for helping me with this!

 

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Title: Doctors don’t make promises, do they?

Author: Nelfy

Characters: Callie Torres, Erica Hahn, Callica ship, slight mentions of Mark, Christina and Addison

Summary: This fanfic shows what happened during the season 4 finale and goes further to explore the relationship between Callie and Erica.

Timeframe: Starts with the season 4 finale

Rating: NC-17

Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Previous chapters:
Chapter One, Chapter TwoChapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten, Chapter Eleven, Chapter Twelve, Chapter Thirteen, Chapter Fourteen, Chapter Fifteen A, Chapter Fifteen B, Chapter Sixteen, Chapter Seventeen, Chapter Eighteen, Chapter Nineteen
Author’s Note: Chapter 20, people! Can you believe it? I can't! Thanks for continuing to read and leave comments, I really appreciate it! I think this chapter has something for everyone, even though some parts might not be for everyone. And remember, this is NC-17. Enjoy!

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Title: Doctors don’t make promises, do they?

Author: Nelfy

Characters: Callie Torres, Erica Hahn, Callica ship, slight mentions of Mark, Christina and Addison

Summary: This fanfic shows what happened during the season 4 finale and goes further to explore the relationship between Callie and Erica.

Timeframe: Starts with the season 4 finale

Rating: NC-17

Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Previous chapters:
Chapter One, Chapter TwoChapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten, Chapter Eleven, Chapter Twelve, Chapter Thirteen, Chapter Fourteen, Chapter Fifteen A, Chapter Fifteen B, Chapter Sixteen, Chapter Seventeen, Chapter Eighteen
Author’s Note: Ugh. I hate this chapter. Seriously, hate! But I need to move on and get it over with. I hope that future chapters will be better. I know that it’s been forever since I posted last, and I’m sorry for that. Life has been kicking my butt and my muse left me. Oh well, here it is. Any ideas/suggestions/constructive criticism are more than welcome!

 

 

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So Cristina realizes

Title: So Cristina realizes

Author: Nelfy

Characters: Callie Torres, Christina, mentions of Callica
Summary: A short drabble on the friendship between Callie and Cristina
Timeframe: Set after 5x04 Brave World
Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Author's Note: Inspired by wicked_joy  who writes amazing drabbles. She had a very similar idea a few days ago and I totally credit her for inspiring me. I'm trying to get back into writing after this whole Brookegate mess and I still can't write Callica, so I wrote this. Enjoy!

 

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Title: Doctors don’t make promises, do they?

Author: Nelfy

Characters: Callie Torres, Erica Hahn, Callica ship, slight mentions of Mark, Christina and Addison

Summary: This fanfic shows what happened during the season 4 finale and goes further to explore the relationship between Callie and Erica.

Timeframe: Starts with the season 4 finale

Rating: NC-17

Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Previous chapters:
Chapter One, Chapter TwoChapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten, Chapter Eleven, Chapter Twelve, Chapter Thirteen, Chapter Fourteen, Chapter Fifteen A, Chapter Fifteen B, Chapter Sixteen, Chapter Seventeen

Author’s Note: Thank you for your comments!! I’m writing a lot of conversations right now, I hope you don’t mind. Seems easier for me.

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Title: Doctors don’t make promises, do they?

Author: Nelfy

Characters: Callie Torres, Erica Hahn, Callica ship, slight mentions of Mark, Christina and Addison

Summary: This fanfic shows what happened during the season 4 finale and goes further to explore the relationship between Callie and Erica.

Spoilers: Starts with the season 4 finale

Rating: NC-17

Disclaimer: Characters belong to ABC and Shonda Rhimes
Previous chapters:
Chapter One, Chapter TwoChapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten, Chapter Eleven, Chapter Twelve, Chapter Thirteen, Chapter Fourteen, Chapter Fifteen A, Chapter Fifteen B, Chapter Sixteen


Author’s note: LJ is still not working :(
. I’m not sure where the story is leading me, I’m trying to go with the flow. Hope you enjoy the next chapter!

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On Monday, Erica stood at the nurses’ station, charting and getting ready for a consult when Sandra approached her.

 

“Hi. They are taking mum’s MRI right now.” Erica looked around to check whether someone was near enough to listen in on them.

“I work here, okay? So I can’t be your sister right now. You need to not know me, okay?”

“I’m sorry? I know that you work here, I just wanted to say hi because you didn’t seem busy.”

“Well, you’ve said hi, so are we finished here?” Erica looked up from the chart she had been staring at to give Sandra an annoyed look.

“You know what? You suck at being an older sister. And at being a decent human being, for that matter.”

Sandra stormed off angrily and left an equally-angry Erica behind.

 

“Are you okay?”

“Just peachy!” Erica turned to stare at Mark, wondering how much of the conversation he had overheard. When she felt tears starting to cloud her vision, she stormed past McSteamy into the nearest on-call room. Unfortunately for Erica, Mark decided to follow her.

“I want us to get along for Callie’s sake, so I’m going to ask you again: Are you okay?”

“No, I’m not *okay*.” Erica said and let out a long breath, eying Mark suspiciously. “What did you hear?”

“Just the part about your being a bad sister and, well…” He trailed off, not wanting to repeat the rest.

“You probably agree with her, don’t you?”

“No, I don’t. You’ve been good for Callie, you’ve really helped her get over Bambi. Will it make you better to fight with me or do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” Erica sighed, uncertain whether she could trust Sloan.

“You aren’t going to tell anyone about this conversation?”

“What happens in on-call rooms stays in on-call rooms.” Mark flashed Erica one of his trademark McSteamy grins. The blonde could only roll her eyes at him, but smiled a forced small grin back at him.

“How do you keep your private and professional life separate in this hospital?”

“Here? You don’t. Are we talking about Callie or about your sister?”

 

Erica pondered over the question for a moment. “My sister.”

“Is she ill?”

 

Another pause in which Erica wondered how much she could tell him. She was already letting her guard down immensely just by talking to him. Normally, conversations between the shallow plastic surgeon and the hardcore cardio goddess were full of teasing and jokes, not once had they talked seriously. Erica mocked the manwhore endlessly, careful to keep her protective wall up around him. She was fully aware of the impact his charm had on women and this knowledge made resisting him even better. Had she not worked with him, but met him at a bar, she would have just given in to his courting and it would have suited her well that he wasn’t a relationship kind of guy either. But the fact that they were working together made it impossible for her to even consider letting him take her out on a date.

 

“No, she’s not. But another relative of mine is.”

“Okay. I know that you’re adopted, so you can be open with me.”

Erica stared at Mark in disbelief. “Callie told you?”

“No, Angie did. I asked her about the age difference and she told me about her mother and that you two grew up together. She said that you were a great older sister.”

“She shouldn’t have told you about the adoption, that’s none of your business.”

“What’s wrong with being adopted? At least you had a family, parents who loved you.”

“You didn’t?”

“My parents never cared for me. I had nannies who knew me better than my mother.” Mark shrugged carelessly but his voice gave away the fact that he did care. Are you trying to change the topic?”

“Is it working?”

“No. Listen, I can’t help you unless you tell me what’s wrong.”

“My mother is here, she’s the one who’s ill. I just don’t want the whole hospital to gossip about me and my family.”

"I think the nurses will respect your privacy."
Erica raised her eyebrows at Mark. "I highly doubt that the nurses even know the meaning of the word privacy. Having a family member in the hospital always changes how people treat you, I experienced that with Bailey's son. Everyone treated her differently, and she's liked and respected unlike me."
"People respect you around here."
The blonde smiled a sad smile at him, disbelief evident on her features. "Yeah, sure." Both doctors knew very well that while the cardio goddess was somewhat respected by most hospital employees, most people also harbored a certain dislike towards her.

 

"So, what, are you going to just ignore the fact that she's at the hospital?"
"That was the plan, yes."
"You can't just ignore your own mother. Besides, things like these always come out, especially here."
Erica seemed lost in thought for a moment, then her face turned into a look of determination. "Well, until it comes out, I won't have to worry about it, right. Erm ... Thanks, I guess." Erica pushed herself off the wall she had been leaning against and crossed the room, her hand already on the door knob when Mark spoke up. "Don't you think it will hurt you mother to be ignored by her own daughter who works at the same hospital she is getting treatment at?"
"Well, she will have to live with it." Erica left the room and walked to the nurses’ station, straightening her scrubs out as she went. She grabbed the chart she had been working on and left to see a patient, all the while being watched by Mark who stood at the door of the on-call room. When she was out of sight, McSteamy let out a long breath and ran his hand through his hair, wondering how badly this would end.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

After her first two surgeries, Callie decided to check on Marie. Erica had told her on the phone yesterday that her mother had agreed to go to the hospital and have her tumor checked out by Derek and that she just couldn't be there for it. The cardio goddess needed to keep her private and professional life separate and Callie could hear the desperation in her lover's voice, so she hadn't argued with Erica. Erica had, however, not forbidden Callie to check on Marie, so she found out in which room Marie was staying and paid her a short visit. She had been there hardly five minutes when Meredith came in with the test results.
"Well, I guess I should go. Good luck." Callie squeezed Marie's hand and got up from the bed to walk outside, Sandra walking past her into the room.

 

Derek saw her exit the room and asked "Are we going to wait for Dr. Hahn?" Callie furrowed her brows and looked at him in confusion.
"Why, did the patient mention something about Erica?" Derek mirrored Callie's facial expression. "No, she didn't. I'm sorry, am I missing something here? I thought the patient was Dr. Hahn's mother, I- ... they look very much alike." Callie sighed and realized that she wasn't the only one who could immediately see their resemblance.
"Erica isn't coming. And I think she would appreciate it if you could keep your observation to yourself. She wants to protect her mother's privacy and you know how the nurses are." 'Bending the truth, just a bit'. Derek nodded commiserative and patted Callie's shoulder, a move that made Callie almost grin at his attempt at consolation.
"I understand. Maybe you can tell her that it looks good, I think she would be a great patient for us."
"I will. Thank you."
"You're welcome. I guess I'll talk to the patient now, see if I can convince her to have the surgery."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

(Erica’s POV)

 

 

“Richard.” I knocked on the open door, stepping into the office after the Chief beckoned me over. I closed the door behind myself because I wanted some privacy for the request I would ask Richard for.

“What can I do for you, Erica?”

“I know I just took two days off last week, but I wanted to ask if it were possible to get two or three more days off this and next week?

“Of course, is everything alright with you?”

“Yes, but something came up with my family and I would just really appreciate it. Yang can handle my pre and post op patients and I’d just have to move two surgeries so far if I take Friday, Monday and Tuesday off.”

“Okay, just tell Bailey. I noticed the progress that Yang has made in the last days. Who knew she would be doing procedures on her own that fast?” ‘One way to put it.’ Richard smiled at me, this was his way of telling me that he had noticed my ‘improved’ teaching skills.

“It seems she has what it takes. She definitely has the determination it takes. Thank you for letting me take time off again, Richard.” I nodded at the Chief, giving him a small smile as I stood up and started walking towards the door.

“Wait, Erica. I hate to ask this, but… erm, do you … do I need you to fill out a new date-and-tell sheet?”

I swirled around, my eyes open wide in shock before I can help myself. ‘This can’t be. We were so careful, he can’t already know about me and Callie!’

“Gossip travels fast in this place and while I normally don’t believe everything I hear, I know how long Mark has been after you.”

“Sloan? You’ve got to be kidding me!” I huffed and let out a chuckle. “What makes you think that Sloan and I are *dating*? That’s ridiculous!”

“Is it? People saw you exit and on-call room with him close behind. I’ve heard it from two sides, so there’s got to be some truth to this.”

I let out a laugh, relieve washing through my body.

“Did you really think that *I*, of all people, had sex with Mark Sloan in an on-call room? We were just talking about something, that’s all. We weren’t even in there for more than five minutes.”

“Okay, good.” He nodded, but stared at me as if there was something else on his mind. “You just looked like a deer caught in the headlights, so I have to assume that you are seeing someone.”

I rolled my eyes and forced a smile on my lips, crossing my fingers that he wouldn’t see right through my lie. “No, I’m not. Besides, I know how to keep my private and professional live separate, you should know that by now.”

“Erica. It’s hospital policy, the hospital needs to protect itself from lawsuits.”

“Well, I’m not going to sue anyone and I can assure you that she won’t either, so-” I put my hand over my mouth as I tried to shove back the words that had just left said mouth, but it was too late. My eyes were wide as I stared at Richard, willing myself to say something, anything, but my mind was blank. There was nothing I could have said that would erase what Richard had just heard.

“She? Oh god.” The Chief shook his head and looked at me in disbelief. “You’re not sleeping with Yang, are you?”

“No!” I was so upset and angry at his suggestion that I protested strongly.

 

“You’ve been letting her scrub in all the time all of a sudden, I just want to make sure I don’t have another Burke situation on my hands.”

“Yang is my student. You told me I needed to teach her.” I accused, trying hard to keep my calm. “I don’t even like her.”

“Good. She already went through enough because she couldn’t keep her hands off her mentors.” Richard sighed, obviously torn between hospital policy and the trust he had in me. “It’s just a sheet of paper, Erica, and I can promise you that no one will ever get to see it.”

“Well, I’m still not going to fill out the form. You don’t have any proof and I can always just deny it. And if this hospital can’t respect my private life, I’m sure Mercy West will have no problem with that. And, Richard … if any of this leaves your office, I WILL go back to Mercy West!” It took all of my strength to appear calm and full of myself, but as soon as the words were out I turned and bolted out of the door, quickly walking down the hallway and into the staircase. I leaned against the door and let out a long, shaky breath. “Fuck!”

 

I knew that I had to calm myself down and I really didn’t want anyone to see me in the state I was in right now. I felt my hands trembling and shook them hard, willing them to stop shaking. I walked down the stairs, past two doors until I reached the last floor and entered the basement. Looking around, I saw that the hallways were empty, the calm settling my nerves slightly. I fished out my phone and paged Callie with a 911, directing her to where I was standing. Sighing, I leaned against the wall and took deep breaths, trying but failing miserably to stop the thoughts that were running through my mind.

 

‘Great, just great. So I teach Yang like *he* told me to and this is his thanks? He accuses me of sleeping with her? Just great. Calm down. Let’s just hope that he’ll let the topic slide, he knows that he has nothing in his hands. I’m too good to be fired over something like this and he knows that. He might know that I was bluffing, but I’m sure Mercy West would take me back with open arms. No, he wouldn’t risk losing me over a date-and-tell form, I’m a cardio goddess for god’s sake!’

 

I heard someone approach my hiding place and turned my head in time to see Callie storm through the door, looking around frantically. She spotted me and closed the distance between us with four fast steps, touching my shoulders and waist immediately.

 

“What happened, are you okay, are you hurt?” Callie panted, obviously she had just ran down the stairs.

“I’m not hurt. I just- … I think I might have lost my job and outed us all in once.” I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the expression on Callie’s face. Callie, in the meantime, tried to catch her breath, still panting hard. “What happened?”

“Richard thought I sleep with Sloan and asked me to fill out a date-and-tell sheet and I refused, but he wouldn’t back down so I said something like ‘I’m not going to sue and she isn’t going to either.’ That’s when he conveniently assumed that I am sleeping with Yang, which is even more ridiculous!” I let out a laugh that I really didn’t feel and looked at Callie who was eyeing me intently. “So I told him that I’m not sleeping with Yang and that I would go back to Mercy West if he tried to make me fill out a form.”

I slumped forward slightly, staring at my shoes as if they were the most interesting pair of shoes I’d ever seen. I knew that Callie’s name hadn’t been mentioned in my conversation with the Chief, so if Callie wanted to get out of this mess she could still easily do it. I wouldn’t blame her, had I been able to think before I spoke I wouldn’t have gotten into this mess. “He has no clue that it’s you, so I would understand if you wanted to break things off for a while, letting it cool down, you know.” I muttered, still staring at my shoes. It physically hurt me to say what I thought was needed to be said, even if the pain in my chest almost made me cry out. I didn’t want Callie to break up with me, but I wasn’t sure how I would have reacted if the roles had been reversed. The least I could do was give her a choice and see how she felt.

 

“I’m in this. No breaking up needed. I don’t care whether the Chief knows about us, I know for a fact that while he always hears all the rumors, he would never take part in the rumor mill actively. So if you want to tell him it’s me you’re seeing, I’m fine with that. I can go with you, tell him that you’re not sleeping with Cristina. Jesus!” Callie let out a chuckle that surprised me and I looked at her in wonder. “How in the world did he come up with the idea that you are seeing Cristina? You don’t even like her!”

“That’s what I said too!” I laughed as well, as always being infected by Callie’s good temper. Even when I was angry, Callie was able to make me feel better instantly. Her smile seemed to radiate directly into my body and fill the pit of my stomach with a warmth I hadn’t felt in a long time.

 

“God, what do I do now Callie? I was still fairly respectful towards him, but I can’t imagine facing him after what I said to him. I mean, I threatened to quit my job over a stupid date-and-tell form! Damn Sloan, if he could keep his pants on for longer than five minutes I wouldn’t even have to think about such a form!” Callie pulled me off the wall and embraced me, drawing circles over my back to sooth me the same way I always did for her. I smiled into her hair at the gesture and was astonished at how easily Callie made me open up and let her see my vulnerable side.

“How did he come up with the idea that you are seeing Mark?”

I let out a sigh and decided to go with the truth, not having any energy left for making up a story.

“Sloan and I talked today, in an on-call room, and someone saw us leave it shortly after one another, so naturally, this person’s mind went to the gutter immediately.”

Callie chuckled again, not surprised by what this person had come up with. “People at this hospital think about sex way too much. But that’s just Mark’s reputation, he lusted after you for so long that most people in this hospital lost loads of money to Nurse Tylor. Like, a hundred bucks and more!”

I pulled back to look at Callie in surprise. “Why did they lose money? What does that have to do with anything?”

“People were betting on the time it would take Mark to get into your pants and Tylor was the only one who said that it would never happen. I should have put some money on you too, but I thought it was a bit insulting that people would bet on something like that. Besides, I knew you well enough already to know that Mark didn’t stand a chance, so it would have felt like cheating.”

“Great. The people working in this hospital are just so nice and respecting towards privacy. Unbelievable.”

I shook my head and leaned into her embrace again, relishing how warm and soft her body felt against mine. The smell of her hair infiltrated my nose and I inhaled deeply, trying to store her distinct *Callie* smell into my brain.

 

“Erica? Listen, the Chief is smart enough to not fire you over something small like this. I bet in a few weeks you’ll be laughing about your disagreement. Let’s just fill out the form and go back to our lives.” Callie spoke softly, as if she was trying to get me to think logically, which was hard when it came to her and our relationship.

“No! I don’t want to!” I knew that I was being stubborn and unreasonable, but I wasn’t ready for anyone to know about us yet. Richard was my superior and even though we got along most of the time, we weren’t even close to being friends. To think of him as anything more than my boss irritated me immensely, as I never blurred the lines between work and play. Ever.

 

Only, now I had. The minute I started going out dancing with Callie the line started to blur and it only got worse the more my feelings for her evolved. I had been living in this bubble of denial and now I was paying the price. I wasn’t even sure if I had really believed that we would be able to have a relationship at home and simply be colleagues at work or if I had just enjoyed my feelings so much that I completely shut out reality. Whatever my mistake had been, I wasn’t going to be able to turn back time or take back what I had said to Richard and now I would have to find a way to undo the mistake. My slip was a minor setback, but I wouldn’t put my reputation at risk over a stupid hospital policy.

 

Sighing, I leaned back, my arms still on Callie’s waist. “I will just ignore the stupid form. I made myself perfectly clear and he can’t really do anything about it, can he?” I took a deep breath and smiled at her, once again amazed at how beautiful the woman in my arms was. I could drink in her beauty ever second of every day and I would still not have enough. “Thank you. For- … you know, for coming here. Talking to me.” I leaned in and kissed her softly, slowly letting my tongue trace over her bottom lip and felt her sigh against me.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

(Callie’s POV)

 

After Erica’s panicked page to the basement, we went back to work, then both got off at six and returned to her house. While I ordered takeout, Erica called her mother and invited her over. We ate in silence as I was still thinking about her refusal to be honest about our relationship. I had always had a good relationship with the Chief and it hurt me to think that I was lying to him. Even though I wouldn’t admit it out loud, it also hurt to hear Erica refuse to be open about our relationship the way she did. As if our secret had to be kept secret at all cost. I knew that we had just started dating, but I wanted to come out eventually. I had already told my friends about us and even Cristina knew, so being open at the hospital was just a matter of time for me. Apparently, Erica thought differently, but I was afraid to approach the topic. When Erica had confessed what had happened, she hadn’t even looked me in the eye, as if she had been afraid of my reaction. I knew that I was in this for the long-term, but I wondered whether Erica knew that as well.

 

“I love you.” I blurted, realizing that this was not the most romantic way to put my feelings into words. While we had said those words days early, we weren’t throwing them around like some couples liked to do. This was actually only the second time I told Erica about my feelings, or at least the second time I spoke them out loud. My feelings for her were clear every time I stared into her blue orbs in wonder or traced my tongue across her soft skin.

 

“I love you too.” Erica looked at me puzzled, clearly wondering where that had just come from.

 

“I know that we just started dating, but we are going to come out eventually, right? I mean we’re not going to hide this forever, are we?”

Erica sighed and shifted in her seat, looking down at her plate. The fact that she wouldn’t look me in the eyes spoke louder than any words she could have said.

“Erica, look at me. We can’t hide forever, I mean what if we move in together. Are we going to pretend that we are just roommates?”

“I … I-” Erica sighed and looked up at me, finally meeting my eyes. “I don’t know, Callie. I haven’t figured that out yet. I mean, we told our friends, right, shouldn’t that be enough? I’m not saying that nobody can know about us, but at work…” She paused and looked down at her plate. I waited and as I thought of something to say, she spoke again. “There’s so much to consider, I mean everyone is going to assume that I’m, you know, a lesbian and that I hate men or something like that. We’re doctors, our reputation is important to us. I know you don’t care what other people think about you and I love that about you, but I don’t have that luxury. I want people to talk about my work, the procedures I perform, not the fact that I’m in love with a woman. Besides, we have to work when we’re at the hospital anyways, so I don’t really see that much difference between acting like friends and acting like a couple. We both agreed that we wouldn’t meet in on-call rooms or something like that, so…”

 

I felt the tears well up in my eyes as I stared at my food, willing them not to spill over. I had thought that for once, I would be the top priority for someone else, and again I was put second to something that I couldn’t fight. Going in, I had known that Erica’s work was important to her. Hell, I could understand that surgery was everything to her, just as it was for me. But I would have been ready to put her first, even before my beloved surgeries. I sniffled, still trying to hide that the tears were now streaming down my face.

 

“I’m sorry.” Erica said softly, so softly in fact that I nearly hadn’t heard it. Just as I was about to reply, the door bell rang and Erica sighed. She got up and didn’t leave immediately, but stopped to kiss me on the head. As she welcomed her family I tried to compose myself and wiped the tears away with my sleeve, hoping that my eyes weren’t red already.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 
A/N: *Sigh*. I’m not happy with this chapter. I want to wrap the story up before my classes at university start again (in two weeks). I won’t be able to finish the story before the season premiere on Thursday, but I figured since we won’t have that much Callica anyways, it doesn’t really matter. Comments would be highly appreciated. Should Erica fill out the form? Are they going to find a solution for this? Is Erica’s mum going to die? Hm, so many questions, so much to ponder. 

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Title: Doctors don’t make promises, do they?

Author: Nelfy

Characters: Callie Torres, Erica Hahn, Callica ship, slight mentions of Mark, Christina and Addison

Summary: This fanfic shows what happened during the season 4 finale and goes further to explore the relationship between Callie and Erica.

Spoilers: Starts with the season 4 finale

Rating: NC-17

Disclaimer: Characters belong to ABC and Shonda Rhimes
Previous chapters:
Chapter One, Chapter TwoChapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten, Chapter Eleven, Chapter Twelve, Chapter Thirteen, Chapter Fourteen, Chapter Fifteen A

Author’s note: I had a virus on my computer this past weekend, which kinda sucks. My brother was able to save my data, but I still don’t have windows office and somehow having no Word affects livejournal. I can post comments, but I can’t post a post on my journal (wtf?). So, I have to use the computers at my university to post, which means that until I have word, updates will probably be less frequent but hopefully longer. Sorry about that.

 

I’m going to bring this story to an end, if possible before the season premiere. But I still have a lot to say, so will see whether that’ll work out. I hope you like what I’m doing with this.

Read Chapter 16...Collapse )
“Yeah?” The couple was driving to work the next day. “Can you ask Shepard about his clinical trial for me?”
“Yes?”
“It would make me feel better, okay?” Erica explained without really explaining anything.
“It’s okay, I’ll ask him. I’ll stare him down.” Callie chuckled and proceeded to tell Erica the story of the 17-year-old patient and how she had convinced Derek to operate on the girl.
 
The cardio surgeon parked her car in her designated spot and grabbed Callie’s hand to stop her from getting out of the car.
“Wait. I-… thanks. For everything. You are a really great friend!”
“I certainly hope that I’m more than just that.” Callie’s eyes sparkled and for a moment, it looked as if Erica would kiss her but then she made due with tracing her thumb across Callie’s hand. They got out of the car and Callie took Erica’s hand again, linking her fingers through Erica’s. A door opened somewhere and Erica pulled away.
“Not here.” The blonde checked whether someone had seen them, but the parking deck was deserted. “I’m sorry.”
Callie sighed but didn’t respond otherwise. They walked to the elevator in silence and parted ways to go about their day.
 
“Dr. Shepard, do you have a moment?”
“What can I do for you, Dr. Torres?”
“How do you find patients for your clinical trial?”
“Well, mainly through getting the word out that we are doing one and contacting other hospitals, other neurological doctors. Either the doctors refer the patients to us or the patients find us. Why?”
“I might know a candidate for your surgery, even though she hasn’t decided yet whether she wants to see you or not.”
“Okay. The patient should see Meredith first, she’ll do the usual tests. And, obviously, the patient should bring her medical history, would save us a lot of time and work.”
“I will tell her. Great, thanks.”
“Are you okay?” Derek asked, a concerned look he reserved for patients and Meredith clouding his face.
“Yes, why?” Callie didn’t really know what he was referring to, since they didn’t talk about personal issues.
“Because a friend of yours has a tumor in her brain.”
“Oh. Well, she’s more the friend of a friend, I just met her. But thanks for asking.”
“Okay.” Callie smiled at Derek, surprised that he would be so attentive and sympathetic.
 
 
When Callie finally made her way to Erica’s, she was already running late. An emergency surgery had come up and she had stopped at her place to pick up some cloths. The fact that she didn’t even have a car and needed to call a cab wasn’t great either, Erica had obviously forgotten that her car was still at Erica’s place. The raven beauty entered the house with the spare key Erica had given her when they had still been friends - *only* friends – and was surprised to find Erica vacuuming the living room. Callie knew that there was no need for cleaning, as Erica has someone come by and clean once a week. The cardio goddess was a neat person and her house reflected that. To see her vacuum the living room was certainly interesting.
 
“Hey. Sorry that I’m late, do you mind if I hop into the shower real quick? I’ll be ready once they get here.”
“They will be here in ten minutes!”
“I’ll be quick. I need to change as well. Besides, they probably won’t mind if I join you a bit later.”
“I mind. I don’t want them to know that you shower here, they will know that we are more than just friends.”
 
Callie sighed and looked at Erica, trying to figure out how the blonde would react to her confession. ‘Oh, just get it over with.’
“I think they already know. At least, Sandra does.”
“Why, what did you say to her?” Erica asked agitatedly, uncomfortable with the thought that her girlfriend and her sister had been talking behind her back.
“I didn’t say anything, she just knew. She told me she’s gay too-“
“I’m not gay!”
“Listen, I don’t want to fight with you, okay? It’s not my fault other people can see our happiness and I’m not going to apologize for that either.” Callie turned to leave but stopped staring that the empty wall ahead of her.
“What happened to our letters?” Erica had framed the letters they had written on the day of their first real date and had put them on the wall, side by side. When Callie wasn’t around, the cardio goddess liked to read them at night before going to bed and it made sleeping alone slightly more bearable.
“I took them down. I don’t want my guests to read something so personal.”
“Erica, you want your mother to get to know you, so put them back where they belong.” Erica wanted to argue, but when she saw the look of hurt in Callie’s eyes she decided against it.
“Okay” she grumbled and pulled the two frames from a drawer, placing them back on the wall.
“Thank you.” Callie’s tone was still harsh, but the raven beauty kissed the blonde softly on the cheek to make up for it. Callie hurried to take a shower while Erica put the finishing touches on the decoration in the living room and kitchen table.
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

At two minutes past seven, the bell rang in time to Callie walking down the stairs, putting on lip gloss as she went. Erica took in the sight and reveled in Callie’s beauty when her lover shook her out of her reverie.
“Aren’t you going to open the door?”
Erica blushed and cleared her throat, turning to do just that.
 
Marie and Sandra had brought flowers and a bottle of white wine to show their appreciation over the invitation and after exchanging awkward greetings the four women moved to the living room for appetizers. Erica offered drinks and poured herself a liberal glass of martini, drowning it in one shot. Callie was worried about this behavior, as Erica hardly drank more than just a few beer or a few glasses of wine. She refused to do shots at Joe’s because they would make her hung-over.
 
They made small talk, talking about the weather and the constant rain in Seattle. Erica mainly listened, letting Callie lead the conversation. She hated the useless discussions on weather or which show had been on the previous night. It was just one more reason why people didn’t like her, her distaste of trivialities.
 
When they had finished their drinks, the party moved to the dining room to eat. Marie complemented on the beautiful setting and Erica thanked her, stating that her mother had always made her pay attention to detail. An uncomfortable silence settled, until Marie decided to ask about Erica’s day. Erica replied with a short “Good” but was urged on by Callie with a warning “Erica” and a look that said ‘Talk or I’ll make you’.
 
“I had two surgeries today, one bypass surgery that went well and a valve replacement that didn’t go so well. The patient died on the table, her heart was just too weak to take the strain. I shouldn’t have operated, but the surgery was her only chance so …”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I am a doctor, sometimes I save a life and sometimes I can’t. We help more than we hurt.”
“I know that that is what doctors tell themselves, but to lose a patient on the table still hurts. I experienced it often enough. It’s okay to hurt over a patient’s death.”
“I’m dealing with it, okay? I’m dealing with this my way, I just don’t want to talk about it.”
 
Marie nodded and steered the conversation into what she believed where safer waters.
“So, how long have you two been a couple?” Callie threw Erica, who was staring at her plate, a nervous glance which way not lost on Sandra.
“We-.. we’re… I guess you could say we started dating three weeks ago. But we’ve been friends before that for a while.”
“Oh. I had assumed that you’ve been dating for longer. So you already did the whole lesbian U-haul thing?”
“I’m not a lesbian.” Was Erica’s reaction as Callie simultaneously asked “What’s that?”
 
Had the mood not been so tense, both Sandra and Callie had started laughing. But the tension was almost tangible in the air, so both bit back their laughter.
 
“I’m sorry, I just assumed you identify as a lesbian.”
“Well, I don’t. I’ve only been with two women in my life.”
“And you’ve been with more men?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“Erica!” Another warning glace from Callie told Erica very clearly to be nice because Marie was just making an effort to get to know her.
“What, it is none of her business. I didn’t talk about my sex life with my other mother either.”
“’You don’t need to tell me about the number of sex partners you’ve had in your life, I don’t want to know that. I was just asking about relationships, you know, serious ones.”
Erica crossed her arms and slid down in her chair a bit, looking very much like a grouchy teenager.
“Can we please talk about something else?” The blonde grumbled.
“I talked to Derek Shepard today.” All eyes were on Callie immediately. “He says that you can come by any time, just bring your medical history and they’ll do some tests to see whether you are a suitable candidate.”
“My doctor said that I would be. But I want to take my children to Paris first. Then, I can be the lab rat, but Paris comes first. You should join us, Erica, it’s beautiful.”
“I’ve been to Paris, twice actually. My French is horrible, but the wine is good.”
Disappointment was evident on Marie’s face for a moment, but then she caught herself again and smiled. “Oh, I see. You could still come, if you wanted to. Get to know your siblings. It would make me really happy to see all my children united.”
“I’ll think about it.” Erica squirmed under her mothers gaze so Callie decided to help her out a bit.
 
“You have son as well, right?”
“Yes, Ethan. He just came back from his third tour in Iraq. He was in Afghanistan once and in Iraq twice.”
“Ethan is a soldier?” Erica had never cared about her siblings, but to think that her own brother, even if he was just her half-brother, was defending their country overseas made her proud in a way.
“Sort of, he’s a doctor as well, he’s in the Army medical corps. He joined the army to serve his country and save soldiers lives. He really grew up on his first tour, he came back as a changed man. He says that a doctor here has seen nothing compared to what he saw.” A certain amount of pride, but also fear, resonated in Marie’s voice.
“It’s a war zone, they blow your limbs away the first chance they get.”
“Sadly, that’s true.” Silence fell over the table again, but since they had all finished eating Erica decided to clear the table and move to the living room again for desert. Both Callie and Sandra offered to help, so Callie sent Erica and her mother to the living room and moved to the kitchen to do the dishes.
 
“What the hell is a lesbian U-haul thing?” Sandra laughed and explained Callie the phenomenon of lesbians moving in together after the first date. The ortho chicks talked and laughed about lesbianism and labels and their past relationships, allowing Erica and her mother some time alone.
 
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 
“You know, I would really like you to join us on our trip to France. We’ll be in Paris for five days and then we’ll visit the castles along the Loire for four days. This time of the year, it shouldn’t be a problem to get another plane ticket for you.”
“Don’t you want to spend this time with your family? I don’t even know them.”
“But that’s the whole point. I want you to get to know them. I want you to be fine when I die and I would love for my children to be able to have a relationship. Once I’m gone, you and my other kids will not get into contact anymore.”
Erica sighed. In the past, she had always refused to meet her siblings, but she could understand her mother’s motives.
 
“Listen, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, but there is still so much resentment between us and I don’t know how to fix that. Ever second thing I say makes you angry. This is my last chance to make up with you.”
 
In this moment, Erica realized that she didn’t want her mother to die. She wanted her to live so they could become mother and daughter. She wanted her to live so that she could tell her about Callie and about her friends and about all the things that were important to her. She wanted her to live so that, if Callie was interested in having any, their children would have a grandmother.
 
“I’ll try to get some days off for the trip if you at least go and talk to Dr. Shepard.”
Marie stretched out her hand “Deal.” Erica shook it and smiled at her mother, convinced that they would somehow be able to mend their relationship. Now that she was letting go of all the anger and hurt she could see that her mother cared about her.
 
“You like Callie a lot, don’t you.” A smile lit up Erica’s face and her blue eyes twinkled with the emotions she felt when she thought about the raven beauty.
“Yes. She’s very special. Callie accepts me the way I am, even though she doesn’t accept my crap. Mostly.”
“That’s important. You have to be able to criticize your partner and still show him or her your love. Have you told her that you love her yet?”
“Yesterday, I did.” Erica blushed, thinking about what they had done the night before.
“That’s great.” Marie leaned in to push a stray strand of blond hair out of Erica’s face and cupped her cheek lightly. “Have I ever told you how happy I am that at least one of my children has my blue eyes? I know that you can make them look cold as ice if you want to, but right now, this blue is the most beautiful color I’ve ever seen. I’m happy that you are happy.” A single tear rolled down Erica’s cheek as she, for the first time in her live, felt the love her biological mother felt for her.
“I don’t want you to die.” Erica whispered and embraced her mother, silently crying for all the time they had lost while she was holding a grunge.
“I know, honey, I know. It’s going to be fine, you’re going to be fine.”
 
When Sandra and Callie joined Marie and Erica in the living room twenty minutes later, Erica was animatedly telling her mother how Marc Sloan tried to get her to go out with her. The four women laughed about his insistence and Callie was very happy when Erica left out the part where she had hooked up with McSteamy. As the evening came to an end, Erica and her family arranged to meet again the next day so that Erica could show them Seattle. ´The two lovers waved as the cab drove away and when Erica closed the door, Callie hugged her tightly and whispered “I’m very proud of you” into her ear.
“What for?”
“You opened up and you didn’t just let them into your house but also into your heart. So, I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks. I’m going to ask Richard for a few days off, I won’t go to France for as long as they go but four days should be enough to spend some time with them, with … my family. You could join me if you want to, you know?”
Callie smiled at Erica and kissed her lightly, touched by the invitation.
“You need to spend this time with your family. It’s okay, I’ll be here, patiently waiting for your return.” Erica smiled back and leaned in to kiss her lover again, slowly tracing her tongue over Callie’s lips, but Callie pulled away.
“I’m sorry if I was harsh today or if I pushed too much. I want what’s best for you, you know that, right?”
“Yes, I know. It’s okay, I wasn’t on my best behavior today either. So basically, we’re even.” Erica smiled at Callie and they kissed again, only this time, nobody pulled away for a while.
 
 
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A/N: Okay, so here it is. I hope I was able to set the tone right, I feel like Erica and her mother are good right now. We’ll see what the future and their trip will bring. I can’t promise an update tomorrow, so you might have to wait until Monday because the university is closed on the weekend. It sucks, I know, but it sucks for me too, so shared pain, right? I would love some comments on this chapter!!
 
Oh, right, before I forget it: HUGE thank you to whoever nominated me at the ga-ficawards!! I feel very honored, especially since I’m up against burningeden’s ‘One Heart Too Many’, but it’s okay if you vote for her instead of me, I did too :D. She’s a great writer!

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Title: Doctors don’t make promises, do they?

Author: Nelfy

Characters: Callie Torres, Erica Hahn, Callica ship, slight mentions of Mark, Christina and Addison

Summary: This fanfic shows what happened during the season 4 finale and goes further to explore the relationship between Callie and Erica.

Spoilers: Starts with the season 4 finale

Rating: NC-17

Disclaimer: Characters belong to ABC and Shonda Rhimes
Previous chapters:
Chapter One, Chapter TwoChapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten, Chapter Eleven, Chapter Twelve, Chapter Thirteen, Chapter Fourteen, Chapter Fifteen A


Author’s note:
Thanks for the comments, I appreciate them! They make me want to write more :-) and right now, the story is flowing from me easily. I hope you enjoy this, I didn’t think the second part would be so long but then I had to add some happy times for my loyal readers! I'm wiling to think about requests, for after the Erica/Marie storyline, so if you want something specific to happen just say so and I'll see whether I can think of something good. Also, constructive criticism is appreciated, I want my writing to improve so if there is something special you noticed/something I should work on, please tell me!

 
Title: Doctors don’t make promises, do they?

Author: Nelfy

Characters: Callie Torres, Erica Hahn, Callica ship, slight mentions of Mark, Christina and Addison

Summary: This fanfic shows what happened during the season 4 finale and goes further to explore the relationship between Callie and Erica.

Spoilers: Starts with the season 4 finale

Rating: NC-17

Disclaimer: Characters belong to ABC and Shonda Rhimes
Previous chapters:
Chapter One, Chapter TwoChapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten, Chapter Eleven, Chapter Twelve, Chapter Thirteen, Chapter Fourteen

Author’s note: I’m trying a new approach here, hope you like it. There’s some drama ahead for Erica, something to keep the story interesting. I might end this soon, since Grey’s is going to return in less than a month *doeshappydance*. I’m posting this chapter in two parts because the second part isn’t finished yet.

Title: Doctors don’t make promises, do they?

Author: Nelfy

Characters: Callie Torres, Erica Hahn, Callica ship, slight mentions of Mark, Christina and Addison

Summary: This fanfic shows what happened during the season 4 finale and goes further to explore the relationship between Callie and Erica.

Spoilers: Starts with the season 4 finale

Rating: NC-17

Disclaimer: Characters belong to ABC and Shonda Rhimes
Previous chapters:
Chapter One, Chapter TwoChapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten, Chapter Eleven, Chapter Twelve, Chapter Thirteen
 

Author’s note: I finally kicked writer’s block’s ass – and I’m really sorry it took me so long! I hope the next chapters will be easier, this update is really long! As I mentioned before, I’m going somewhere, so please bear with me. There will be some drama, but I really think it’s going to be interesting!! Comments, suggestions, ideas are appreciated, as usual!